The romantic maze of love that is fascinating, mesmerising and confusing.

Caught up in the global media maze of romantic love, I was fascinated, magnetically energised and mesmerised. Listening and singing sweetly, the pleas of the long songs on the air waves reinforced the intense feelings. These types of songs were all I heard, everything else did not matter.

Thank goodness, I was awoken from this state in time without the horrific shattering effects of heart-break, so familiar for day dreamers in love like me. The definition of the word ‘love’ according to the English dictionary is this: The word is a verb, indicating the existence of a particular state, occurrence or a performance of an action. 

Love is great affection, desire, passion, intense emotions, deep feelings, sexual attraction, pleasure, endearment, whole-hearted liking, fall in love, sexual intercourse. The definitions continue with many suffixes that offer a wider context of meanings, including love bites, lovebirds, lovers etc. 

The reason why I have given an extended elaboration on the meaning of such a powerful evocative word, is an attempt to clarify and explain how easy the matrix of language and the meaning of its words, can force us to believe, live and remain in the confines of limited understanding. Even to the extent of playing tricks on the mind to harm the body. Especially so, when Africans view the world only through European spectacles.

From the African traditional cultural perspectives I grew up with, personal love and desires as an intensity of emotions and feelings, are way down on the list of sensible responsible attributes. This way allowed us to see the epitome and embodiment of love, outside the domain of psychic magnetic attractions.

Abroad and away from home for such a long period of time, I had forgotten that we were to function and work towards the higher virtues of love in action. Through collective responsibilities, in how we share, care and live with each other in our immediate communities and societies. Love also becomes social, public and collective.

Africans are village people and are generally open and social human beings. This way of life is a feature in our genes. Social living is cemented in the foundations of all cultures on the continent of Africa. 

What if we were all able to view and experience love, not only as desire, lust and romance, but also as a proactive state of sharing and giving, like the attitude of a mother towards the children from her womb? Giving not only in the material form, but consideration for others in generosity of words, in the most natural ways.

These are some of the basic energy and motivation in the African soul, that we often tend to overlook, overwhelmed and distracted in the worlds of politics, economics, materialism and fantasy. Love that arises from desire, lust, wants and needs, have a tendency to lead us into pain, obsession, broken hearted and in distress.  

Please, try your best to remain aware and remember the alternatives to the popular European practice and popular attitudes relating to love. Cultivate the natural aspects of caring love that is unique to the African holistic self-identity. I remain constantly happy in the remembrance and realisation of living in the African way to love. Makeda Sang.